(NO)vember: Because You Can’t Say Yes, Until You’ve Said No

NOvember

I have neglected ayminor.com in the last few months, but for good reason –

In September, I published a collection of short stories, Climbing Vines submitted by 16 black UPENN alumnae and undergraduate women. #IDoIt

2014-09-24 20.44.44

In October, it was time to switch gears to my Dad’s 60th birthday – a surprise. Needless to say I almost lost my mind for the second month in a row.

2014-10-22 23.09.01
Handmade centerpieces I created for the party.

Which brings me to (NO)vember.

Although the past few months have been about things that I love, and people that I love, it’s time to focus on me. Other than my required obligations, mainly being my job, if I’m not interested in attending or participating, the answer is no. And what does that mean? I can finally get back to my blog! And music! And naps! #NOvember

Here’s an exercise I might try from Oprah.com to make sure “no” rolls off the tongue:

1. For one week, keep track of how many times you say yes to something that is not on your Absolute Yes List.

2. At the end of the week, tally up the number…surprised? Awareness is the first step to realigning your decisions and priorities.

3. Make a list of five things you’d like to say no to. Start by thinking about these questions.

If you could say no to someone or something, knowing that there would be absolutely no hard feelings or negative consequences, who or what would you say no to? Is there a project you would give up? A relationship you would end? A date you might break?

At first, saying no might create some internal guilt. But the tough choices you make today will help you reach a happier place tomorrow.

Read the full article here.

J Music: 3 Upcoming NY Shows for $35 or Less!

image

Sevyn Streeter

Monday, March 24, 2014
Where | SOB’s
Doors | 7:30 PM
Showtime | 9:00 PM
$15 (age 21+)

Though Sevyn has had a few less than stellar performances in the last 6 months, I’m still holding out on a live performance to make a decision for myself. I know she can write, and the choreo’s on point, but what about the vocals?

image

Mack Wilds Ft. Mateo, GIZ

Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Where | Highline Ballroom NY, NY
Doors | 7:30 PM
Showtime | 8:30 PM
$15 in advance, $20 day of show
As a former 90210 fan, I was so happy for Tristan “Mack” Wilds following the release of his first album New York: A Love Story. Further incentive to attend the show? I may finally be able to see Mateo perform for the first time in 3 years

image

Gavin Degraw Ft. Rozzi Crane, Parachute

Monday, April 7, 2014
Where | The Capitol Theatre Port Chester, NY
Doors | 7:00 PM
Showtime | 8:00 PM

$35

Not gonna lie, as much as I dabble in Gavin Degraw’s music, the main draw to the concert was the chance to see opening act, and up-and-coming artist Rozzi Crane do her thing! When I first came across Rozzi on YouTube, I instantly loved her tone, but questioned some of her song choices; I’m interested to see what she does with her set. 

Best of 2013

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.” 
― Henry David Thoreau

2013 has taught me the value of living in the now; it may be different, uncomfortable and at times very lonely, but I continue to grow and come into my own. It took me awhile to get the list down to 10, but here’s a look back at some of the moments I will cherish!

Happy New Year!

J Music: The Best Christmas Playlist Since 2002… When I Made It

image
  1. Who Would Imagine a King – Whitney Houston
  2. The Christmas Song – Nat King Cole & Natalie Cole
  3. Silent Night – Mariah Carey
  4. Let It Snow – Boyz II Men
  5. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer – Alvin & the Chipmunks
  6. O, Holy Night – Mariah Carey
  7. I’ll Be Home for Christmas – Whitney Houston**
  8. O, Come All Ye Faithful – Luther Vandross
  9. Walking in a Winter Wonderland – Ashanti**
  10. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing/Gloria (In Excelsis Deo)- Mariah Carey 
  11. Silver Bells – The Temptations 
  12. Away in a Manger – Gladys Knight & the Pips 
  13. All I Want for Christmas Is You – Mariah Carey 
  14. Seasons of Love – Rent 

**In reflection, I would probably swap these two out. I like to remember Whitney at her best, and this isn’t it. And including Ashanti amongst these legends was just disrespectful.

If I burned a new CD today, I would add:

  • Mary, Did You Know – CeeLo Green
  • What Christmas Means To Me – Stevie Wonder
  • Santa Clause is Coming to Town – Jackson 5 (amongst a few others)
  • This Christmas – Chris Brown

Happy Holidays everyone!! 

Related Articles: 

J Music: O Holy Night – Luke Edgemon 

J Music: Mary Did You Know – CeeLo Green

J TV: Black Girls Rock! 2013

image


I could kick myself that it took me so long to get to Black Girls Rock on my DVR.

People do a lot of complaining about BET, but I am so grateful that they have taken the time and resources, again, to put together this inspiring, heartwarming and inspirational show for blacks girls of every size, shape, shade, age, geographic background and religion — they truly embraced the diversity and significance in all of our individual and collective stories.

Last year my favorite moment came from Janelle Monae.  This year, though all the award-recipient highlights were phenomenal, I really gravitated towards Misty Copeland’s story; it’s not too long ago that I was a young girl in ballet class, and I was the only one. Despite the odds stacked against her, Misty served as the first, and only, African American female soloist with the American Ballet Theatre for 10 years.

Right after I finished watching the show, I texted my mentee to make sure she had watched the show — she did.

Find additional video from Black Girls Rock! 2013 here.

(To not give negativity too much shine, let’s be clear — it is possible to uplift and affirm one group of people without demeaning or undermining another.)

Related Articles:

Janelle Monae is Young, Gifted & Black!

Halloween Pumpkins

How To: Rhythm Nation Halloween Costume

I hope everyone had a great Halloween weekend! One of my favorite holidays, I started planning early to out-do my BB Homemaker costume from last year. I wanted to keep my theme of black, iconic female musicians going so I couldn’t pass up the chance to dress up as Ms. Jackson!

What you need:

  • Black Turtleneck Long Sleeve Top
  • Black Highwaisted Pants
  • Black Combat Boots
  • Black Gloves (short or long)
  • 1 Silver Square Cake Board
  • 4 Silver Buttons
  • Black Ribbon
  • 1 Silver Hoop Earring
  • Silver Chain
  • 2 Large Safety Pins
  • Needle & Thread
  • Pencil & Paper
  • Scissors
  • Hot Glue Gun

So let’s start with the basics —hopefully every girl has a pair of black pants, a simple black belt and some (combat) boots in their closet.  This keeps the costume relatively inexpensive.

To recreate the jacket-look, I decided to get the Capezio Women’s Turtleneck Long Sleeve Top on amazon.com for $20. (Because I would be sewing on the buttons and pinning the accessories, I did not want to use a shirt or jacket I planned to wear again — any black turtleneck crop top will do. I went with the reviewer comments and got the top a size bigger — it was a perfect fit and great quality.)

A trip to Walmart should cover all the materials for the accessories. In looking for a durable silver material to cut out the pendants, I came across a 4-pack of silver wedding cake boards ($4) and decided to give them a try. (I would suggest something more durable, but it served its purpose.)

I created stencils by drawing the accessory designs on paper and then transferring the design onto the cake board before cutting it out. I did this for the shirt pendant, the key on her earring, the “1814” earring and the pendant on her hat.

For the “1814” earring I attached the cake-board cut-out to a Cousin silver fish hook earwire (36-pack for $2) with silver sewing thread.  For the key accessory, I made sure to poke a hole and strung it through my hoop earring.

With the right chest pendant (in the photo of Janet), I was able to take a short piece of the Cousin 50-in Chain ($3) and simply connect it to the bottom of the pendant. For the left chest pendant I found a Cousin Design By Me silver and red heart that would do the trick. Though it was meant to be used as a necklace, I was able to attach it to a rectangle cut-out of the cake board with black string.

From here, I would suggest doing something a bit differently than what I did — I had last minute glue gun problems! Glue a safety pin to the back of boths pendants (in the center). Cut 4 pieces of ribbon that you can use to connect the chest pendants to the shirt. Glue two pieces of ribbon on either side of the back of the pendant, and glue the other ends to the shoulder blade of the shirt (for both pendants) — that way the pendants will be held on by the safety pin, but also by the ribbons.

You can also use a glue gun to fasten the pendant/silver cut-out on the black hat (I got my black twill hat from amazon.com for $5.95.)

Last step —sew on four silver buttons to complete the top!